The Answers to the 6th Bible Quiz at Squirrel's Island!

I know you all think I made this stuff up, and I lie about god. Well here you go gentle reader, the verses in the bible that show you the truth about the bible!!

1. What woman in the bible gave a man milk and then killed him by driving a nail through his head?

Correct answer: B: Jael ...Judges 4:21 Then Jael Heber's wife took a nail of the tent, and took a hammer in her hand, and went softly unto him, and smote the nail into his temples, and fastened it into the ground: for he was fast asleep and weary. So he died.

The wonder of good christian hospitality.

2.What was the first murder recorded in the bible??

Correct answer: D. Cain killed Abel....Gen 4:8 And Cain talked with Abel his brother: and it came to pass, when they were in the field, that Cain rose up against Abel his brother, and slew him.

Gotta love the brotherly love here. This could also be considered the first human sacrifice as well gentle reader.

3. Lots of children were killed by this wonderful ruler.

Correct answer: A. Herod .....Matt 2:16 Then Herod, when he saw that he was mocked of the wise men, was exceeding wroth, and sent forth, and slew all the children that were in Bethlehem, and in all the coasts thereof, from two years old and under, according to the time which he had diligently inquired of the wise men.

Now, this is highly doubtful that Herod ever did this, as there exists no references outside of the bible for this occurance.

4. King David had which man killed so he could take his wife and marry her, and fornicate with the evil wench?

Correct answer: C. Uriah... 2 Samuel 11:14 And it came to pass in the morning, that David wrote a letter to Joab, and sent it by the hand of Uriah.
15 And he wrote in the letter, saying, Set ye Uriah in the forefront of the hottest battle, and retire ye from him, that he may be smitten, and die.
16 And it came to pass, when Joab observed the city, that he assigned Uriah unto a place where he knew that valiant men were.
17 And the men of the city went out, and fought with Joab: and there fell some of the people of the servants of David; and Uriah the Hittite died also.

Now David was the man after god's own heart remember? This is what a great man of the lord does.

5. Who was released to the mob of angry jews at the passover?

Correct answer: D. Barabbas.... Luke Luk 23:17 (For of necessity he must release one unto them at the feast.)
18 And they cried out all at once, saying, Away with this man, and release unto us Barabbas:
19 (Who for a certain sedition made in the city, and for murder, was cast into prison.)

Now, I think this is plain bull. Pilate let the people he was ruling tell him what to do. I don't think so....

6.This Israelite general was waxed at the gates of Hebron.

Correct answer: B. Abner.... 2 Samuel 3:27 And when Abner was returned to Hebron, Joab took him aside in the gate to speak with him quietly, and smote him there under the fifth rib, that he died, for the blood of Asahel his brother.

7. This king was stabbed in the gut while doing kinlgy duties.

Correct answer: D. Eglon.... JudgesJdg 3:17 And he brought the present unto Eglon king of Moab: and Eglon was a very fat man. ...
20 And Ehud came unto him; and he was sitting in a summer parlor, which he had for himself alone. And Ehud said, I have a message from God unto thee. And he arose out of his seat.
21 And Ehud put forth his left hand, and took the dagger from his right thigh, and thrust it into his belly:

Here we have a man of god doing god's bidding. More murder!! I love Jesus!

8. One of David's godly sons was letting it all out at a party and got himself killed, which one was it?

Correct Answer: A. Amnon.... 2 Samuel 13:28 Now Absalom had commanded his servants, saying, Mark ye now when Amnon's heart is merry with wine, and when I say unto you, Smite Amnon; then kill him, fear not: have not I commanded you? be courageous, and be valiant.

Gotta love that huh? Go to a party, and get waxed by good godly people.

9. This pinnacle of the christian example killed a man and buried the body in the sand.

Correct answer: B. Moses....Exodus 2:11 And it came to pass in those days, when Moses was grown, that he went out unto his brethren, and looked on their burdens: and he spied an Egyptian smiting a Hebrew, one of his brethren.
12 And he looked this way and that way, and when he saw that there was no man, he slew the Egyptian, and hid him in the sand.

Wow, Moses was a murderer. Plain and simple. He killed another man because he struck a fellow Hebrew. Another pinnacle of what worships this god.

10. In a fit of homosexual lust, this man murdered another man while kissing him, which one was it?

Correct answer: C. Joab.... 2 Samuel 20:9 And Joab said to Amasa, Art thou in health, my brother? And Joab took Amasa by the beard with the right hand to kiss him.
10 But Amasa took no heed to the sword that was in Joab's hand: so he smote him therewith in the fifth rib, and shed out his bowels to the ground, and struck him not again; and he died. So Joab and Abishai his brother pursued after Sheba the son of Bichri.

Okay maybe not is a homosexual fury... but still.... murder is murder.

Well gentle reader, yet again we have tested your knowledge of the bible and we hope you have learned a thing or two!

PRAISE THE LORD!!!!