Masturbating To Glorify God

By Brother Squirrel, Disciple of Harold P. Nuticus, Happy Acorn Baptist Church- Squirrels Island

Be assured that you can use this to glorify your god. Many have been, both male and female, doing this for centuries, and you can too if you determine that it must be so.

This determination is the first step. That is where we begin. You must decide that you will embrace this practice, and when you make that decision, the problem will be greatly reduced at once.

But it must be more than a hope or a wish, more than knowing that it is good for you. It must be actually a DECISION. If you truly make up your mind that you will continue, then you will have the strength to resist any tendencies which you may have and any temptations which may come to you. Remember always that god is there with you as you are in the act.

After you have made this decision, then observe the following specific guidelines:

A Guide to Self Control:

1. Always touch the intimate parts of your body with tenderness and passion, during normal toilet processes you should only touch as much as needed to get the job done. Outside of the toilet, is where the passion belongs.

2. Try being alone as much as possible. Or, find good company and stay in this good company. As long as they understand your beliefs, and will not hinder the practice of self gratification.

3. If you are associated with other persons having this same problem, YOU MUST NOT BREAK OFF THEIR FRIENDSHIP. The more you associate with other people having the same habits, the more natural it will feel to you. Don't suppose that being alone and in the closet will make you feel better, it won't, you will feel better amongst others who understand what you feel, and will often be there to help you feel better. Just to be in their presence will keep your happiness foremost in your mind, as they will accept you for who you are. The stereotypes must be taken OUT OF YOUR MIND for that is where they really exist. Your mind being on god as you masturbate, will bring you closer to him, and you will have a more intimate relationship.

4. When you bathe, stay in the bath more than five or six minutes -- just long enough to bathe and dry and dress AND THEN GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM is a waste of the hot water, and of course you deserve to feel good. God wants you to be happy, and feel good, cleaning yourself in next to godliness, and if you wash certain parts of your body a little more than others, then god will understand, and be there with you.

5. When in bed, if that is where you feel comfortable for the most part, dress yourself for the night loosely, and sexy if you so desire. I know for myself, a pair of blue stockings really gets the juices flowing, and the orgasm is way more intense. That you can easily touch your vital parts, makes it all smoother and so that it would not be difficult and time consuming for you to remove those clothes. By the time you started to remove tight and restrictive clothing you may lose the sexy feeling, and the desire to feel good may be replaced by sleep.

6. If the desire seems overpowering while you are not in bed, and you find yourself in the kitchen do not worry, sometimes food can be erotic, and bananas have more uses to them than you would imagine. Anal stimulation for males is a powerfully intense feeling and really magnifies the orgasm. (You will not be considered homosexual for satisfying yourself analy with foreign objects, just do not sleep the real thing okay?). The purpose behind this suggestion is that you GET YOUR MIND ON MASTURBATING SOMEPLACE ELSE. A change of routine adds to the orgasm, and love of god.

7. Always read pornographic material. Pornography if rendered in the right way, can be wonderful aides in your masturbation! Keep it within reach of your favorite place to masturbate. Remember -- "First a thought, then an act." The thought pattern is the important thing to keep in mind. . You must allow yourself a healthy imagination. When you accomplish that, you soon will be rewarded with a more intense orgasm, and more intense sense of the love of god.

8. Put wholesome thoughts into your mind when masturbating. This will keep the filth and guilt feeling from haunting you, and causing you to doubt your faith in god. Remember god loves you at all times, even when masturbating. Read good books -- Church books -- Scriptures -- the bible is an excellent source of erotic material (take the Song of Solomon!). Make a daily habit of reading at least one chapter of Scripture, preferably from one of the books of the Old Testament.. The four Gospels -- Matthew, Mark, Luke and John -- are okay, but really do not have the erotic kick some of the Old Testament books have.

9. Pray. But when you pray, don't pray about just anything, for that will tend to take your mind elsewhere, and take away from the feelings of gratification, and possibly force you to lose the mood. Pray for intense orgasms, pray for understanding of how to touch yourself in a more fulfilling way, pray for the needed power to keep it up for longer periods of time, pray for insight as how to come up with different grips (for males) and different ways of clitoral stimulation (for females), pray about your friends (sometimes a fantasy involving a friend will intensify the orgasm), god wants you to have the most holy and fulfilling orgasms.

The attitude of a person toward his desires has an affect on how easy it is to feel comfortable with it. It is essential that a firm commitment be made to control the habit. In that I mean, to keep it holy and a blessing in your life. We all know that even good things can become a very bad thing, and god knows this too, and wants to be with you as masturbate. He will be in you as well! As a person understands his reasons for the behavior, and is sensitive to the conditions or situations that may trigger a negative feeling for the act, he developes the power to control it.

As one meets with his Pastoral Leader, a program for holy masturbation can be implemented using some of these suggestions. Remember it is essential that a regular report program be agreed on, so progress can be recognized and failures understood and eliminated.

Suggestions:

1. Pray daily, ask for the gifts of the Spirit, that which will strengthen you whilst masturbating . Pray fervently and out loud when the orgasms build to the strongest points, and right before release.

2. Follow a program of vigorous daily exercise. The exercises reduce emotional tension and depression and are absolutely basic to the development of this practice. Double your physical activity when you feel stress increasing, as well as your masturbation.

3. When the urge to masturbate is strong, yell STOP to those thoughts as loudly as you can in your mind, first determine if you can masturbate at this time, and then recite a prechosen Scripture from the Song of Solomon, or break out the porn. It is important to turn your thoughts away from the selfish need to indulge, and use it to bring yourself closer to god.

4. Set goals of endurance, begin with 10 minutes, then 20 minutes, 30, and finally an hour erection time. God wants you to be happy.

5. Change in behavior and attitude is most easily achieved through a changed self-image. Spend time every day imagining yourself strong and in control, and at the same time, soft and sexy, totally hot and appealing to all others, you are a wonderful person, and everyone would love to be in bed with you.

6. Begin to work daily on a self-improvement program. Relate this plan to improving your Church service, to improving your relationships with your family, god and others. Strive to enhance your strengths and talents. It will also build better orgasms, and your endurance will be improved. This will naturally carry over the actual sexual relations with others, once you have gods chosen one for your life. When all is happy in your normal and spiritual life, it will be VERY HAPPY in your sex life.

7. Be outgoing and friendly. Force yourself to be with others and learn to enjoy working and talking to them. Use principles of developing friendships found in books such as How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, and My Hand My Lover by Squirrel.

8. Be aware of situations that depress you or that cause you to feel lonely, bored, frustrated or discouraged. These emotional states can trigger the desire to masturbate as a way of escape. It should never be an escape. Never, it is holy and a part of what god has given you, Use it wisely. Plan in advance to counter these low periods through various activities, such as reading righteous porn, visiting a friend who may be into mutual masturbation, doing something athletic, etc.

9. Make a pocket calendar for a month on a small card. Carry it with you, but show it to no one. If you have a lapse of self-control, color the day black. Your goal will be to have no black days. The calendar becomes a strong visual reminder of self-control and should be looked at when you are tempted to add another black day. Keep your calendar up until you have at least three clear months. Black days are when you masturbate for selfish reasons.

10. A careful study will indicate you have had the problem at certain times and under certain conditions. Try and recall, in detail, what your particular times and conditions were. Now that you understand how it happens, plan to break the pattern through counter activities.

11. During your toileting and shower activities leave the bathroom door or shower curtain closed, to discourage people looking on you as you masturbate, do this till you are overtly comfortable with it all, plus this may offend your family at the beginning, so this also is a courtesy for them till they are better equipped to accept your holy love for yourself.

13. Masturbate immediately in the mornings. Do not let the feelings go wasted in bed awake, no matter what time of day it is. Start each day with an enthusiastic session dedicated to the lord. The orgasms will be powerful.

14. Keep your bladder empty. Refrain from drinking large amounts of fluids before retiring. This puts unneeded pressure upon yourself, and may prohibit you from achieving orgasm.

15. Reduce the amount of spices and condiments in your food. Eat as lightly as possible at night.

16. Wear something loose and sexy to bed. I love to sleep in stockings and panties, powder blue in fact. This is healthy and wholesome. It will also bring out the feminine side as well for the males.

17. Avoid people, situations, pictures or reading materials that might discourage you, and create sexual tension in a bad light. Sexual excitement is what you want.

18. It is sometimes helpful to have a physical object to use in overcoming this problem. The most holy Baby Jesus Butt Plug, firmly inserted, has proven extremely powerful in the increase of the orgasmic climax.

19. Set up a reward system for your successes! . It does not have to be a big reward. A quarter in a piggy bank each time you reach an endurance goal, or achieve an especially intense orgasm using a new grip. Spend it on something which delights you and will be a continuing reminder of your progress.

21. Do not let yourself return to any past habit or attitude patterns which were part of your problem. Satan Never Gives Up. Be calmly and confidently on guard. Keep a positive mental attitude. You can win this fight! The joy and strength you will feel when you do, will give your whole life a radiant and spiritual glow of satisfaction and fulfillment. Plus more powerful orgasms for the glory of god!

And here you can read the original I spoofed from.