Masturbating To Glorify God
By Brother Squirrel, Disciple of Harold P. Nuticus, Happy
Acorn Baptist Church- Squirrels Island
Be assured that you can use this to glorify your god. Many have
been, both male and female, doing this for centuries, and you can
too if you determine that it must be so.
This determination is the first step. That is where we begin. You
must decide that you will embrace this practice, and when you make
that decision, the problem will be greatly reduced at once.
But it must be more than a hope or a wish, more than knowing that
it is good for you. It must be actually a DECISION. If you truly
make up your mind that you will continue, then you will have the
strength to resist any tendencies which you may have and any temptations
which may come to you. Remember always that god is there with you
as you are in the act.
After you have made this decision, then observe the following specific
A Guide to Self Control:
1. Always touch the intimate parts of your body with tenderness
and passion, during normal toilet processes you should only touch
as much as needed to get the job done. Outside of the toilet,
is where the passion belongs.
2. Try being alone as much as possible. Or, find good company and
stay in this good company. As long as they understand your beliefs,
and will not hinder the practice of self gratification.
3. If you are associated with other persons having this same problem,
YOU MUST NOT BREAK OFF THEIR FRIENDSHIP. The more
you associate with other people having the same habits, the more
natural it will feel to you. Don't suppose that being alone and
in the closet will make you feel better, it won't, you will feel
better amongst others who understand what you feel, and will often
be there to help you feel better. Just to be in their presence will
keep your happiness foremost in your mind, as they will accept you
for who you are. The stereotypes must be taken OUT OF YOUR MIND
for that is where they really exist. Your mind being on god as you
masturbate, will bring you closer to him, and you will have a more
4. When you bathe, stay in the bath more than five or six minutes
-- just long enough to bathe and dry and dress AND THEN GET
OUT OF THE BATHROOM is a waste of the hot water, and of
course you deserve to feel good. God wants you to be happy, and
feel good, cleaning yourself in next to godliness, and if you wash
certain parts of your body a little more than others, then god will
understand, and be there with you.
5. When in bed, if that is where you feel comfortable for the most
part, dress yourself for the night loosely, and sexy if you so desire.
I know for myself, a pair of blue stockings really gets the juices
flowing, and the orgasm is way more intense. That you can easily
touch your vital parts, makes it all smoother and so that it would
not be difficult and time consuming for you to remove those clothes.
By the time you started to remove tight and restrictive clothing
you may lose the sexy feeling, and the desire to feel good may be
replaced by sleep.
6. If the desire seems overpowering while you are not in bed, and
you find yourself in the kitchen do not worry, sometimes food can
be erotic, and bananas have more uses to them than you would imagine.
Anal stimulation for males is a powerfully intense feeling and really
magnifies the orgasm. (You will not be considered homosexual for
satisfying yourself analy with foreign objects, just do not sleep
the real thing okay?). The purpose behind this suggestion is that
you GET YOUR MIND ON MASTURBATING SOMEPLACE ELSE. A change of routine
adds to the orgasm, and love of god.
7. Always read pornographic material. Pornography if rendered in
the right way, can be wonderful aides in your masturbation! Keep
it within reach of your favorite place to masturbate. Remember --
"First a thought, then an act." The thought pattern is the important
thing to keep in mind. . You must allow yourself a healthy imagination.
When you accomplish that, you soon will be rewarded with a more
intense orgasm, and more intense sense of the love of god.
8. Put wholesome thoughts into your mind when masturbating. This
will keep the filth and guilt feeling from haunting you, and causing
you to doubt your faith in god. Remember god loves you at all times,
even when masturbating. Read good books -- Church books -- Scriptures
-- the bible is an excellent source of erotic material (take the
Song of Solomon!). Make a daily habit of reading at least one chapter
of Scripture, preferably from one of the books of the Old Testament..
The four Gospels -- Matthew, Mark, Luke and John -- are okay, but
really do not have the erotic kick some of the Old Testament books
9. Pray. But when you pray, don't pray about just anything, for
that will tend to take your mind elsewhere, and take away from the
feelings of gratification, and possibly force you to lose the mood.
Pray for intense orgasms, pray for understanding of how to touch
yourself in a more fulfilling way, pray for the needed power to
keep it up for longer periods of time, pray for insight as how to
come up with different grips (for males) and different ways of clitoral
stimulation (for females), pray about your friends (sometimes a
fantasy involving a friend will intensify the orgasm), god wants
you to have the most holy and fulfilling orgasms.
The attitude of a person toward his desires has an affect on how
easy it is to feel comfortable with it. It is essential that a firm
commitment be made to control the habit. In that I mean, to keep
it holy and a blessing in your life. We all know that even good
things can become a very bad thing, and god knows this too, and
wants to be with you as masturbate. He will be in you as well! As
a person understands his reasons for the behavior, and is sensitive
to the conditions or situations that may trigger a negative feeling
for the act, he developes the power to control it.
As one meets with his Pastoral Leader, a program for holy masturbation
can be implemented using some of these suggestions. Remember it
is essential that a regular report program be agreed on, so progress
can be recognized and failures understood and eliminated.
1. Pray daily, ask for the gifts of the Spirit, that which will
strengthen you whilst masturbating . Pray fervently and out loud
when the orgasms build to the strongest points, and right before
2. Follow a program of vigorous daily exercise. The exercises reduce
emotional tension and depression and are absolutely basic to the
development of this practice. Double your physical activity when
you feel stress increasing, as well as your masturbation.
3. When the urge to masturbate is strong, yell STOP to those thoughts
as loudly as you can in your mind, first determine if you can masturbate
at this time, and then recite a prechosen Scripture from the Song
of Solomon, or break out the porn. It is important to turn your
thoughts away from the selfish need to indulge, and use it to bring
yourself closer to god.
4. Set goals of endurance, begin with 10 minutes, then 20 minutes,
30, and finally an hour erection time. God wants you to be happy.
5. Change in behavior and attitude is most easily achieved through
a changed self-image. Spend time every day imagining yourself strong
and in control, and at the same time, soft and sexy, totally hot
and appealing to all others, you are a wonderful person, and everyone
would love to be in bed with you.
6. Begin to work daily on a self-improvement program. Relate this
plan to improving your Church service, to improving your relationships
with your family, god and others. Strive to enhance your strengths
and talents. It will also build better orgasms, and your endurance
will be improved. This will naturally carry over the actual sexual
relations with others, once you have gods chosen one for your life.
When all is happy in your normal and spiritual life, it will be
VERY HAPPY in your sex life.
7. Be outgoing and friendly. Force yourself to be with others and
learn to enjoy working and talking to them. Use principles of developing
friendships found in books such as How to Win Friends and Influence
People by Dale Carnegie, and My Hand My Lover by Squirrel.
8. Be aware of situations that depress you or that cause you to
feel lonely, bored, frustrated or discouraged. These emotional states
can trigger the desire to masturbate as a way of escape. It should
never be an escape. Never, it is holy and a part of what god has
given you, Use it wisely. Plan in advance to counter these low periods
through various activities, such as reading righteous porn, visiting
a friend who may be into mutual masturbation, doing something athletic,
9. Make a pocket calendar for a month on a small card. Carry it
with you, but show it to no one. If you have a lapse of self-control,
color the day black. Your goal will be to have no black days. The
calendar becomes a strong visual reminder of self-control and should
be looked at when you are tempted to add another black day. Keep
your calendar up until you have at least three clear months. Black
days are when you masturbate for selfish reasons.
10. A careful study will indicate you have had the problem at certain
times and under certain conditions. Try and recall, in detail, what
your particular times and conditions were. Now that you understand
how it happens, plan to break the pattern through counter activities.
11. During your toileting and shower activities leave the bathroom
door or shower curtain closed, to discourage people looking on you
as you masturbate, do this till you are overtly comfortable with
it all, plus this may offend your family at the beginning, so this
also is a courtesy for them till they are better equipped to accept
your holy love for yourself.
13. Masturbate immediately in the mornings. Do not let the feelings
go wasted in bed awake, no matter what time of day it is. Start
each day with an enthusiastic session dedicated to the lord. The
orgasms will be powerful.
14. Keep your bladder empty. Refrain from drinking large amounts
of fluids before retiring. This puts unneeded pressure upon yourself,
and may prohibit you from achieving orgasm.
15. Reduce the amount of spices and condiments in your food. Eat
as lightly as possible at night.
16. Wear something loose and sexy to bed. I love to sleep in stockings
and panties, powder blue in fact. This is healthy and wholesome.
It will also bring out the feminine side as well for the males.
17. Avoid people, situations, pictures or reading materials that
might discourage you, and create sexual tension in a bad light.
Sexual excitement is what you want.
18. It is sometimes helpful to have a physical object to use in
overcoming this problem. The most holy Baby
Jesus Butt Plug, firmly inserted, has proven extremely powerful
in the increase of the orgasmic climax.
19. Set up a reward system for your successes! . It does not have
to be a big reward. A quarter in a piggy bank each time you reach
an endurance goal, or achieve an especially intense orgasm using
a new grip. Spend it on something which delights you and will be
a continuing reminder of your progress.
21. Do not let yourself return to any past habit or attitude patterns
which were part of your problem. Satan Never Gives Up. Be calmly
and confidently on guard. Keep a positive mental attitude. You can
win this fight! The joy and strength you will feel when you do,
will give your whole life a radiant and spiritual glow of satisfaction
and fulfillment. Plus more powerful orgasms for the glory of god!
And here you can read the original
I spoofed from.